Imperfect Courage summary

For those of us from privileged backgrounds, comfort is an easy option.

Staying in your comfort zone is, well, comfortable. For most of us, settling in on the couch to binge-watch Netflix while sipping a warm tea or glass of wine sounds like an ideal plan. It brings a sense of safety, security, comfort and the nice feeling that things are alright – after all, not much can go wrong during a Netflix binge.

A study by political scientists at Brigham Young University recently found that if women are the minority in a group that is trying to solve a problem they speak up to 75 percent less than the men in the group do. Girls and women are trained by society to be nice, polite and humble, and not to speak out.

But if you want to achieve your full potential and follow your dreams, you have to speak up.

When Honegger was a schoolchild, she hated sports. In particular, she hated one exercise in gym class. A teacher would hand one end of a rope to Honegger and the other end to one of the fastest kids in school. The other kid was told to run off at her normal pace, and Honegger just had to try and keep up. Sweating and panting, she’d chase around, desperately trying to maintain the pace.

It was a miserable experience, but sadly one that millions of women are replicating every day.

We all have parts of ourselves – particularly those parts that contain our fears and anxieties – that we prefer to keep to ourselves. The thing is, it’s only when we share those parts that we can truly connect with others, invite support, empathy and compassion, and build true and meaningful relationships.

It’s not always easy to reveal our vulnerabilities, but doing so can have a powerful effect. It could even be a life-changer, as in the case of a young Ugandan girl named Hope.

Have you ever encountered another woman in a store, at the beach or in a cafe and judged her? Perhaps because she looked more attractive and thinner than you, you resented her at that moment? Or maybe because her kids were misbehaving, you felt a little disdain for her parenting?

Honegger once found herself in such a situation in a shoe store. Another woman was shopping while her children were causing a fuss, making noise and crashing into displays. But as Honegger found herself slipping into judgmental thoughts, she remembered that, on a different day, this could have been Honegger herself, with her own kids.

We all know that there are many problems in the world, from girls’ education in rural Africa to urban poverty in the United States. But sometimes, the scale of the challenge can be intimidating. It can seem impossible to solve the world’s problems, so we stay focused on our immediate surroundings – our work, our friends and our family.

But the truth is, just because you can’t make a big contribution doesn’t mean you can’t do anything at all.

When Honegger’s daughter was days old, Honegger admitted that, amidst the exhausting chaos of having a newborn, she wished she could put the baby back inside her. Her doctor told Honegger to give the baby to her own mother and get some sleep. Five hours later, Honegger felt better. The challenge of motherhood was still a large one, but it felt more manageable.

You can't always be available for others; eventually, you will simply burn out. It’s essential to dedicate some time to taking care of yourself, so here are some practical tips for avoiding burnout to make sure you pace yourself and take the occasional break.